An Improved poem

Steve told me the following of my Poem,

Your 7-word, 4-sentence Tang poem is fantastic,esp. with the use of a housing estate for sentence beginning.Just some knowledge sharing, when I learnt Tang poem in childhood I got that we should emphasize on the accent of the last word for sentence 1, 3, and 4. It is what we call 押韻.


I then changed it as follows:

海 風迎面輕吹拂
怡 人美景現足前
半 日閒暇如芬花
島 上客閒心滿輝